Rank of Hands in Texas Holdem

In texas hold em poker, players compare five card hands against each other to determine who wins. A player with a flush has a better hand than a player with a straight, for example. The following list is from best to worst, so any hand on the list beats any hand below it and loses to any hand above it.

Royal Flush - An Ace-High straight of one suit.
Queen of Spades King of Spades Jack of Spades Ten of Spades Ace of Spades

Straight Flush - A straight of entirely one suit.
Four of Diamonds Seven of Diamonds Eight of Diamonds Six of Diamonds Five of Dimaonds

Four-of-a-Kind (Quads) - Four cards of the same rank.
Jack of Diamonds Jack of Spades Eight of Diamonds Jack of Clubs Jack of Hearts

Full House (Full Boat, Boat) - Three-of-a-kind and a pair. The example below would be called "Queens over Aces" or "Queens full of Aces".
Queen of Diamonds Queen of Spades Ace of Diamonds Queen of Clubs Ace of Spades

Flush - Five cards of the same suit.
Four of Diamonds Ten of Diamonds Ace of Diamonds Two of Diamonds Five of Diamonds

Straight (Run) - Five cards of sequential rank. Note that in holdem, Aces can be high or low.
Nine of Diamonds Ten of Spades Queen of Clubs Eight of Diamonds Jack of Hearts
An example of a straight where the Ace is low:
Four of Diamonds Ace of Diamonds Two of Spades Five of Spades Three of Diamonds

Three-of-a-Kind (Trips, Set) - Three cards of the same rank.
King of Clubs King of Hearts King of Spades Ace of Spades Two of Diamonds

Two Pair - Two cards of the same rank and another two cards of the same rank. The example below would be called "Jacks and Twos".
Jack of Clubs Two of Spades Two of Diamonds Queen of Spades Jack of Diamonds

One Pair - Two cards of the same rank.
Ace of Spades Six of Diamonds Ten of Spades King of Clubs Ace of Diamonds

High Card - When you don't have any of the above, your highest card determines your hand. The example below would be "King High" or "High card King".
Two of Diamonds Four of Spades Seven of Spades Ten of Diamonds King of Clubs

If any of those examples didn't make sense, then you are a dumb fuck... GET LOST!.